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My boyfriend has been particularily uninterested in sex for the past few months. We are living together for the first time this year and have been together for 6 years. We started having sex about 4 years ago. He has always been especially excited about sex, but lately has quite frustrated. He is able to get an erection and keep it, but he hasn't initiated sex in months. He doesn't seem to be particularily stressed about anything and is not on any medication, but I have to admit, his diet is less that admirable-but nothing different from the way it always has been. Please clue me in on why my 20 year old boyfriend is so uninterested in something that most guys his age can't get enough of. Thanks, Roni
Thank you for your inquiry We regret it would be inappropriate to speculate with one person, especially in public, about another person's motives and feelings in a very personal and private area of his life. There can often be a temporary or sometimes a long-lasting mismatch between people's levels of sexual desire and / or the frequency of acting on sexual feeling; such differences require a sensitive approach and they very much more often have to do with personal and social factors than with medical reasons or causes, especially in age groups where chronic illness and the side effects of medicines are unlikely culprits. This mismatch is not wrong and not anyone's fault. People do change and as you met when he was 14, much will have happened in both your lives over that time. We suggest that a carefully-initiated discussion where you let your boyfriend know that you're puzzled by what you perceive as a change is the best way for you and he to work this out together. (Try to avoid inferring a lack of love or attraction for you on his part when you start this discussion). Sometimes - rarely, and usually later in the attempt to resolve this - involving a professional third party such as a sympathetic doctor or psychotherapist can help, but to start with, a loving approach is the best approach. Hope this helps.
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