Phlegmatic Dog
From Moscowiki
| Phlegmatic Dog |
Cuisine: Club food
Address: Manezhnaya pl., 1, 2nd level of Manezh shopping mall
Metro: Okhotny Ryad
Tel: 995-9545
Open from 11:00 until 01:00
All major credit cards are accepted.
Restaurant is closed
By Len Readle
When I was asked to do a review for the expat.ru, apart from thinking it was about bloody time I also thought this is my chance to bring my critical and damning point of view to some of the eating establishments that need to be torn down brick by brick.
Disappointment is too mild a word to be used when visiting the Phlegmatic Dog, the definition of Phlegmatic, according to the thesaurus is: ..."Without emotion or interest: apathetic, detached, impassive, incurious, indifferent, insensible, lethargic, listless, stolid, unconcerned, uninterested, unresponsive..." My initial thoughts... Great stuff! I can really go to town on this and bring a cynical and negative pose to the reviews normally seen!
Well the disappointing issue was that this place is good; I would go as far as to say it was impressive. Simple minimalistic and high tech interior in the main area, basic designed tables with color coordinated chairs and futuristic screens on each table gave me the feeling I had walked in to some secret research facility/cafe.
The "boss man", Chris gave us the guided tour, showing us surprise after surprise, topping it with a "back room" which could come out of a Dickens novel or it could be described as a cigar club with a difference. Leather sofas, great relaxing decor, it really angered me to start feeling almost at home in either of the two areas.
My anger was increased when Chris showed us the screens and how to use the online ordering menu. They had no consideration when designing this place for the likes of me, I really had to find something to complain about, (I did, more about that in a moment) Suffice to say I was seen smiling and almost saying "I like this place, it really is different".
Receiving our Warsteiner Beer (in a chilled glass) in no time at all, we went on to order the starters and main course. One of my all time moans is that the menus are usually in Russian only or are too long and complicated. This menu was simple, with good variety, reasonably priced and descriptive. At this point I was ready to explode with frustration at not being able to shout and complain to the management, one of my all time favorite pastimes.
Imagine the picture, a loud mouthed complaining expat, with nothing to complain about, frightening. So I decided to try one of the cocktails, I tried their version of the B52 which is called the "Phlegmatic Dog" well I followed the instructions, no problem to an old hand like me who drinks B52's for breakfast. Well, words can't describe the cocktail, multiply the effect of a B52 by say 10, then double it and spin around 15 times whilst looking up at the ceiling and you may get close, WARNING!!!! Do not try this at home, outside or anywhere else unless you want that warm cozy blahhhhh feeling.
I had at last found something to complain about. I was ready, my partner ordered a Strawberry Margarita, and she is an expert on these. It was not particularly nice, in fact it was awful, "here we go" I thought, I can shout and complain, my smile went from ear to ear and back again. After calling the waiter, expecting the usual reply of "sorry but tastes OK to me", I was just about to shout and throw things, I said this Margarita is awful, his words - "I am terribly sorry sir, I can change it for a new one or would you like to change your order?"
I couldn't believe it! The staff have been trained in customer services! Surely one of the few places in Moscow?!? What could I do? Well, my mouth dropped open and I sulked until the food arrived.
Ok, the food, a description and prices of what we had are below. Suffice to say, I think they must have known I was coming and brought some highly paid chef in to cook to my tastes. The food was perfect, tasty and very interesting.
I will finish by telling you that it does have one problem, unless you already know how to get there. It is located at the old TGI Fridays place in the Manej. You may find it difficult to get to, I think the management is planning on better sign posting!
My overall grudging opinion, do not try it if you are like me and like to complain, you will be disappointed. The clientele vary, and I spotted a few single girls as well as guys here, and a good mix of ages and couples as well as groups.
What we had:
Starter to share: Garlic Shrimps - A lot of shrimps in their shells.
Main course:
Len had: Duck fillet "Munchausen" 400 rubles - unbelievably delicious.
Fried potatoes 70 rubles - Nice but nothing special.
Sveta had: Lamb "Golden Fleece" 500 rubles - very nice.
Grilled vegetables 70 rubles - delicious.
Desert:
Len: Banana split - Nothing special but really good ice cream.
Sveta: Cheese parfait with strawberry - one of the best cheesecakes we have tasted.
08.05.03.
